"Marriage.... Marriage is what brings us together... today."
If you are a fan of The Princess Bride, you definitely know this line and will probably repeat it in the funny voice of the preacher on the movie, just like I did. Catchy, isn't it? ;)
Well marriage is what brings my thoughts onto this blog today. I have recently felt a strong burden to pray for the marriages of my friends as well as my own. To pray for restoration, for accountability, for kindness and gentleness, and for passion. My sister-in-law got married last weekend to a man who is going to take amazing care of her. I was texting her today and she said she was so excited to FINALLY be married to him. I remember the excitement, the hopes, and new little family you become when you marry the love of your life. But after a few years, maybe a few fights about in-laws, arguments about money or temperature of the house, or maybe even a night or two threatening to sleep on the couch...(anyone?? yep, been there once) ...you realize how hard marriage is.
When I got married 3 years ago, I heard a lot of people say, "Well, the first year is the hardest." I'm guessing if you've been married in the last few years, you heard this too... go ahead, raise your hand, nod your head yes. I feel you girl....(or guy). I personally think this is completely dependent on the couple and their expectations going into marriage. I can honestly tell you that I had many high expectations going into marriage, and they did not become my reality. I had so many high expectations about our home, finances, sex life, and how marriage would be, that I was already setting my husband up for failure.
Communication is my strong point... I can talk about my feelings and emotions until I'm blue in the face. I am not afraid to tell my husband how I feel, how I hurt, or what is bothering me. It's my love language: Words of Affirmation along with Physical Touch. My husband however, internalizes his emotions and usually keeps them to himself. I have used the phrase, "I can't read your mind" and "Please use your words" tons of times. This just means we have to work harder at communicating. Sometimes I need to shut up and just wait, and listen... (my husband just said "Amen!" as I wrote that, haha)... and sometimes my husband needs to step up and speak up! We know this now, it's been learned over the years, thank you JESUS! And that just means we have to work that much harder at communication kindly, softly, and gently. Out of LOVE. Every moment of every day - we have to make a choice.
When I got married 3 years ago, I heard a lot of people say, "Well, the first year is the hardest." I'm guessing if you've been married in the last few years, you heard this too... go ahead, raise your hand, nod your head yes. I feel you girl....(or guy). I personally think this is completely dependent on the couple and their expectations going into marriage. I can honestly tell you that I had many high expectations going into marriage, and they did not become my reality. I had so many high expectations about our home, finances, sex life, and how marriage would be, that I was already setting my husband up for failure.
Communication is my strong point... I can talk about my feelings and emotions until I'm blue in the face. I am not afraid to tell my husband how I feel, how I hurt, or what is bothering me. It's my love language: Words of Affirmation along with Physical Touch. My husband however, internalizes his emotions and usually keeps them to himself. I have used the phrase, "I can't read your mind" and "Please use your words" tons of times. This just means we have to work harder at communicating. Sometimes I need to shut up and just wait, and listen... (my husband just said "Amen!" as I wrote that, haha)... and sometimes my husband needs to step up and speak up! We know this now, it's been learned over the years, thank you JESUS! And that just means we have to work that much harder at communication kindly, softly, and gently. Out of LOVE. Every moment of every day - we have to make a choice.
Another phrase for ya..."Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
BULL CRAP.
Words can hurt. Especially if you associate the words your loved one says to you with how they feel about you. If you know about The 5 Love Languages, you know, Words of Affirmation:
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Every moment of every day - we have to make a choice. As the other half of someone, we have to make a choice within our hearts to speak out of love, kindness, gentleness, and peace. To UPLIFT, ENCOURAGE, SHOW LOVE, BE FORGIVING. And if words and communication are not your strong point, it just means that you choose to work that much harder at communication with your spouse lovingly. It can save your marriage.
Don't know about the 5 Love Languages? Check out their website www.5lovelanguages.com and take the assessment. When you find out your love language, have your spouse take the test and share your results with each other! You might be surprised to learn what their true love language is!
Every moment of every day - we have to make a choice. As the other half of someone, we have to make a choice within our hearts to speak out of love, kindness, gentleness, and peace. To UPLIFT, ENCOURAGE, SHOW LOVE, BE FORGIVING. And if words and communication are not your strong point, it just means that you choose to work that much harder at communication with your spouse lovingly. It can save your marriage.
Don't know about the 5 Love Languages? Check out their website www.5lovelanguages.com and take the assessment. When you find out your love language, have your spouse take the test and share your results with each other! You might be surprised to learn what their true love language is!
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