Things I love:
1. Our sweet gracious, loving, powerful God
2. My patient and hard working husband who prays with me everyday
3. The mountains and warm sunshine of Phoenix
4. Hearing the laughter of my nephew Zephaniah over the phone
5. Knowing I am working toward my dream of becoming a counselor (in my third masters class now!)
Things I miss:
1. My entire family and Eric's entire family
2. My friends and girl time
3. Not having a piano at home to play whenever I want
4. Seeing grass and smelling it.. even mowing.
5. Not being able to stunt and tumble when I want.. and coaching
Things I'm thankful for:
1. The laughter my husband brings into our lives
2. A mother who is a prayer warrior
3. A good job that allows me to take my masters for free!
4. Memories of youth group and high school that have shaped me
5. A high school friend who text me yesterday and told me she was praying for me
Things I want to do:
1. Be a mommy
2. Learn to play guitar
3. Start scrapbooking again
4. Go to Vegas at least once.
5. Go on another cruise, but with a lot friends!
Things I need to be intentional in:
1. Keeping in better touch with all my family and friends from home
2. Getting in the Word daily!
3. Stop procrastinating when it comes to homework
4. Getting to the gym everyday!
5. Doing things that show my husband I respect him
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Peace that Passes...
There was a point in my life that I completely experienced what it means to have peace that passes all understanding. It was March 5, 2010 (Eric's 26th birthday) and we were on vacation in Arizona. I was 10 weeks pregnant but had just started having complications earlier that week. Being away from home, I wasn't able to see my Dr., but when speaking to her on the phone I could hear the sadness in her voice to tell me that my symptoms sounded like the beginning of a miscarriage. She put me on bedrest until I was able to return home and see her. While everyone went to a Cubs game to celebrate Eric's birthday (he got to sing the 7th inning stretch), I sat in the backyard of a family member's home, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face. I studied and read over and over the verses in Psalms that still bring me strength to this day. That afternoon while reading, journaling, and praying... although I knew that something was very wrong with my pregnancy, I felt more peace than I have ever known or thought I would ever know. It was completely a peace that passes all understanding. But not God's understanding. He knew that that horrible time in my life would come and that I would need to experience His perfect peace to get me through the pain and hurt of losing my baby, our baby. And by experiencing that, I would be able to talk with other about my miscarriage and provide encouragement to others.
One year ago this week, I miscarried our baby. I found out I was pregnant January 16, 2010 and had a perfectly amazing ultrasound February 11, 2010 and saw our beautiful baby's heartbeat fluttering on the screen. The miscarriage part was actually a month long process, finding out when we returned home from vacation at a Dr. appointment that the baby did not have a heart beat anymore. I'll never forget seeing the tears in my husbands eyes and knowing that in my heart our baby had already gone to heaven. I'll never forget hearing a new born baby's cry in the hallway at the Dr.'s office and how my heart just ached. Since my body had already started the process of miscarrying, I decided to let my body finish it and not to do a D & C. Little did I know, not only the toll of the emotional process, but the intense physical process my body would go through for the next several weeks.
But the peace I felt that day in Arizona was not only a peace about what my body was going through at the time, but a peace about our future. I knew that God had placed Arizona on our hearts for a reason, and that the miscarriage started in Arizona for a reason, and that I felt God's perfect peace in Arizona for a reason. My heart and my arms long for my child that I never got to hold and love on, but my spirit knows the lessons I have learned in the last year could not have been learned without this suffering. God has a purpose for everything in our life! There is a reason for every pain, suffering, joyful or questioning time! Whether it teaches us a lesson, or shows us God's beauty, brings us peace, or brings Him glory... there is a reason! And God is good. And His timing is perfect. We may feel as if He is punishing us or we question why, but He will provide. I truly believe that our God is a good God and He has good things for His people that live their lives for Him. I can say with my whole heart that although I never would have thought I would lose a child to a miscarriage, I am glad God allowed me to go through that painful experience so I can bring Him glory and praise Him and thank Him for the perfect peace He allowed me to feel.
One year ago this week, I miscarried our baby. I found out I was pregnant January 16, 2010 and had a perfectly amazing ultrasound February 11, 2010 and saw our beautiful baby's heartbeat fluttering on the screen. The miscarriage part was actually a month long process, finding out when we returned home from vacation at a Dr. appointment that the baby did not have a heart beat anymore. I'll never forget seeing the tears in my husbands eyes and knowing that in my heart our baby had already gone to heaven. I'll never forget hearing a new born baby's cry in the hallway at the Dr.'s office and how my heart just ached. Since my body had already started the process of miscarrying, I decided to let my body finish it and not to do a D & C. Little did I know, not only the toll of the emotional process, but the intense physical process my body would go through for the next several weeks.
But the peace I felt that day in Arizona was not only a peace about what my body was going through at the time, but a peace about our future. I knew that God had placed Arizona on our hearts for a reason, and that the miscarriage started in Arizona for a reason, and that I felt God's perfect peace in Arizona for a reason. My heart and my arms long for my child that I never got to hold and love on, but my spirit knows the lessons I have learned in the last year could not have been learned without this suffering. God has a purpose for everything in our life! There is a reason for every pain, suffering, joyful or questioning time! Whether it teaches us a lesson, or shows us God's beauty, brings us peace, or brings Him glory... there is a reason! And God is good. And His timing is perfect. We may feel as if He is punishing us or we question why, but He will provide. I truly believe that our God is a good God and He has good things for His people that live their lives for Him. I can say with my whole heart that although I never would have thought I would lose a child to a miscarriage, I am glad God allowed me to go through that painful experience so I can bring Him glory and praise Him and thank Him for the perfect peace He allowed me to feel.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
It's about time...
So I haven't posted a new blog in about 4 and half months and after seeing many of my friends updating their blogs.. I've decided it's about time I did too. So here's recap of the last few months.
**November**
Eric got to fly home for a short weekend to celebrate his mom's birthday and attend a Notre Dame football game. He loves the fact that he can return to Notre Dame stadium and usher on the field any time he wants to. We also celebrated Thanksgiving with the extended family we have here in Arizona. That weekend we also went to Los Angeles, California to visit Disneyland and California Adventure for the first time. We also attended the Notre Dame vs USC football game and met up with our friends who we went to school with and are also originally from Indiana but moved to Cali. We had a great time with them and it was great to see an Irish win!
**DECEMBER**
I got to go home to Indiana to see my family the first week in December. It was a great time with my sisters, bothers, parents, my nephew, and friends. There was lots of laughter, pictures, and special time with my adorable nephew, Zephaniah. Christmas time was different this year. It was the first year I have not been to the lake in Michigan for Christmas Eve with all my mom's side the family, a tradition that has occurred since my mom was a little girl in the house she grew up in. We were able to Skype in, (Thank God for Skype!) but of course not quite the same seeing both of our families. We did spend time with family and friends here which was fun to celebrate in a different way. At the end of December, I had surgery on my hip to repair two areas of torn cartilage and a bone spur around my hip socket. It was outpatient surgery and everything went well. My mom even came down for a week to help out while I was on crutches.
**January**
January I spent two days a week in physical therapy. Eric's grandma Trudy and Aunt Terrie came to visit for a few days. We were blessed to go up to Sedona for a day too and experience some of God's country.
**February**
For Valentines Day Eric surprised me with an all day trip about an hour and a half north of Phoenix, complete with a stop at a winery for a wine tasting, a 4 hour train ride (first class) through the Verde canyon, and a dinner in the mountain town of Jerome. It was so romantic and fun, he did a great job!
**March**
Now here we are in March and I'm done with physical therapy and looking forward to a busy month! My mom, sister Katelyn, and her boyfriend Tim were just here for a full week. We had plenty of laying out time, hiked Camelback mountain, and went to lots of baseball games! This weekend I'm taking Eric to California to hit up Disneyland again for his birthday (he's like a kid in a candy store when he's there!). Next week our friends Ronnie, Becca, their 6 month old daughter Emery, and Eric's buddy Matt Farrell will be here for a few days too! Eric's so excited for some guy time and I can't wait to see my Bestie!!
**November**
Eric got to fly home for a short weekend to celebrate his mom's birthday and attend a Notre Dame football game. He loves the fact that he can return to Notre Dame stadium and usher on the field any time he wants to. We also celebrated Thanksgiving with the extended family we have here in Arizona. That weekend we also went to Los Angeles, California to visit Disneyland and California Adventure for the first time. We also attended the Notre Dame vs USC football game and met up with our friends who we went to school with and are also originally from Indiana but moved to Cali. We had a great time with them and it was great to see an Irish win!
**DECEMBER**
I got to go home to Indiana to see my family the first week in December. It was a great time with my sisters, bothers, parents, my nephew, and friends. There was lots of laughter, pictures, and special time with my adorable nephew, Zephaniah. Christmas time was different this year. It was the first year I have not been to the lake in Michigan for Christmas Eve with all my mom's side the family, a tradition that has occurred since my mom was a little girl in the house she grew up in. We were able to Skype in, (Thank God for Skype!) but of course not quite the same seeing both of our families. We did spend time with family and friends here which was fun to celebrate in a different way. At the end of December, I had surgery on my hip to repair two areas of torn cartilage and a bone spur around my hip socket. It was outpatient surgery and everything went well. My mom even came down for a week to help out while I was on crutches.
**January**
January I spent two days a week in physical therapy. Eric's grandma Trudy and Aunt Terrie came to visit for a few days. We were blessed to go up to Sedona for a day too and experience some of God's country.
**February**
For Valentines Day Eric surprised me with an all day trip about an hour and a half north of Phoenix, complete with a stop at a winery for a wine tasting, a 4 hour train ride (first class) through the Verde canyon, and a dinner in the mountain town of Jerome. It was so romantic and fun, he did a great job!
**March**
Now here we are in March and I'm done with physical therapy and looking forward to a busy month! My mom, sister Katelyn, and her boyfriend Tim were just here for a full week. We had plenty of laying out time, hiked Camelback mountain, and went to lots of baseball games! This weekend I'm taking Eric to California to hit up Disneyland again for his birthday (he's like a kid in a candy store when he's there!). Next week our friends Ronnie, Becca, their 6 month old daughter Emery, and Eric's buddy Matt Farrell will be here for a few days too! Eric's so excited for some guy time and I can't wait to see my Bestie!!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Hello "Fall"...
The beautiful season of fall as arrived all across the country. To me, fall has always meant birthdays (my sister & sister-in-law's in Sept. and mine & my dad's in October), leaves turning color, football season, cooler weather, hot chocolate, and a jacket in the brisk wind. After moving to Arizona, we have survived the heat of the summer and have moved into autumn. Some things have remained the same- still had my birthday (25th to be exact) and there is still football, of course! For anyone who has lived in an area where seasons don't really change much (Phoenix for example), I can't imagine never seeing the colors of the trees in the fall or feeling chilly enough that you want to curl up with a blanket. Fall takes on a new meaning for us now that we are living in Phoenix. We considered it a cool down when it got into the high 90s! The palm trees don't change color here and people think the 70s are cold! It's the last week of October and just today is was 89 degrees. People say that your blood thins out after living here for a while and you'll start to feel cold when the weather is in the 70s. I tell them they are crazy.. the 70s is perfect weather where I'm from. As much as I miss the colors of the leaves and wanting to drink a hot beverage or put on a hoodie, I love the fact that in about 2 months... I will NOT be shoveling snow, NOT be putting on gloves or a scarf, and I will NOT have to warm up my car 20 minutes before I leave for work. Sorry for those of you who will be doing that. :)
The first weekend in October, Eric and I took a trip to San Diego. It was about a 5 and a half hour drive from our apartment with beautiful desert and mountain views along the way. It was birthday celebration trip for me and we went to the San Diego Zoo, walked around the Gas Lamp District, and had a romantic dinner at a little place called the Ocean Room. San Diego is beautiful and I look forward to visiting there again sometime! Our hiking adventures have dwindled down a bit as I'm still having hip issues. I've been through physical therapy and the Dr. believes I have some sort of mechanical issue that has caused the labrum to tear. I'm hoping to get an MRI done in the next few weeks to determine if surgery is needed. Until then, I've been taking it easy on the working out. I've have finally started my Masters degree for Professional Counseling at Grand Canyon University, where I work. What a blessing that God has provided me with a job that allows me to continue my education for free! Eric has just started training for a half marathon he's hoping to run in January. He also just got accept in the FastTrack program at work that will allow him to become a manager of a branch eventually! I'm so proud of the hard work he has put into this job and that he is getting the recognition he deserves!
We are looking forward to Thanksgiving here and attending the Notre Dame vs USC game in Los Angeles. We get to see some friends of our from high school and experience a game "in the ghetto." (If you've ever been to USC, you know what I'm talking about!) And I am looking forward to coming home to Indiana at the beginning of December for an early Christmas with the family. I cannot wait to see my family and my nephew again as well as our friends and their newborn little girl! Oh how we do miss our family and friends at home. And yet we are our own little family here and are learning to make this a home.
Here are some pics from San Diego!
The first weekend in October, Eric and I took a trip to San Diego. It was about a 5 and a half hour drive from our apartment with beautiful desert and mountain views along the way. It was birthday celebration trip for me and we went to the San Diego Zoo, walked around the Gas Lamp District, and had a romantic dinner at a little place called the Ocean Room. San Diego is beautiful and I look forward to visiting there again sometime! Our hiking adventures have dwindled down a bit as I'm still having hip issues. I've been through physical therapy and the Dr. believes I have some sort of mechanical issue that has caused the labrum to tear. I'm hoping to get an MRI done in the next few weeks to determine if surgery is needed. Until then, I've been taking it easy on the working out. I've have finally started my Masters degree for Professional Counseling at Grand Canyon University, where I work. What a blessing that God has provided me with a job that allows me to continue my education for free! Eric has just started training for a half marathon he's hoping to run in January. He also just got accept in the FastTrack program at work that will allow him to become a manager of a branch eventually! I'm so proud of the hard work he has put into this job and that he is getting the recognition he deserves!
We are looking forward to Thanksgiving here and attending the Notre Dame vs USC game in Los Angeles. We get to see some friends of our from high school and experience a game "in the ghetto." (If you've ever been to USC, you know what I'm talking about!) And I am looking forward to coming home to Indiana at the beginning of December for an early Christmas with the family. I cannot wait to see my family and my nephew again as well as our friends and their newborn little girl! Oh how we do miss our family and friends at home. And yet we are our own little family here and are learning to make this a home.
Here are some pics from San Diego!
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